Moving Forward!

4 03 2010

I’m done!  Wednesday was the last day at the hospital.  It was a lot harder for me to say goodbye than I had expected.  I didn’t realize how much I had come to care about the people I had  met just six months ago.  I think part of it is that we all had to put up with the same stuff, and had to kind of lean on each other for support.  Towards the end of the day, I got a little suspicious when they gave me a morgue run when it was about time for me to go.  I figured they’d never have me finish off with a run like that, and my mind took that thought and ran with it.  All along my way going up to the room, I was prepping myself for a practical joke/kick in the butt on my way out the door.  I just knew Bob was going to be lying under the sheets, or hiding in the bathroom to scare the heck out of me when my back was turned.  When I realized there was no one in the room besides the corpse, I mentioned to Gabriel what had run through my mind, and the poor trainee just looked at me like I was mortifyingly insensitive.

I’m thankful for all the experiences, memories and relationships the hospital gave me, but I’m even more excited that tomorrow I will be able to wake up whenever, and go lay in my hammock and work on my book.  Finally, I will have time to get back into shape, read, write, play guitar, learn spanish, etc.  All those things I’ve been somewhat doing when I get a day off here and there, but have never had enough time to really invest in them, I’ll have two months to focus on.  It also sounds like I will be able to go on some business trips to the oil field with dad, and have the occasional opportunities to make some money before I head out to be on the horseback staff this summer.  Hopefully then, Ginny will teach me everything she knows, and someday I can use the experience to work on a ranch in Montana, or something crazy like that.  Maybe eventually, I can even use the knowledge to have my own horse.

My parents have been amazingly supportive through all of this stuff.  They even build back up my ego, and talk about how a lot of the people that hit it big, have to hit rough times before they get desperate enough to pursue their unorthodox dreams.  Goodness knows, I’d never have written a book if I had gotten a decent job straight out of college.  I came across a quote today that, for now, is my runaway favorite.

“Success is 99% failure.” Soichiro Honda

State trooper, teacher, author, who knows what will follow after Ridgecrest this summer, but at least I have something lined up for the next half year.


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Categories : Personal, Writing

Nathan & Nathaniel?

1 03 2010

So I just finished watching Julie & Julia.  I already know what you’re probably thinking, because even my mom was shocked that I was willing to watch it with her and dad.  Well, if it helps put me back in that bubble you’ve got me in, I’m watching the Oklahoma vs. Texas game now.  It took me something like five years to watch Titanic, and I still haven’t seen The Notebook (though, I promised mom I’ll watch it before I leave for the summer).  Julie & Julia interested me, though, because of its uniqueness.  I’ve always been one to appreciate the uniqueness of things, whether that quirk a person has that makes them special, or the slightly off-pitch vocals of System of a Down, or the cultish traditions of Texas A&M.

If you don’t know the story behind the movie, here’s a run-down.  Julie is going through a rough time in her life, and randomly starts blogging about her experiences in cooking.  Her goal is to go through all of Julia’s recipes in just one year.  Along the way, it shows rough patches in both Julie and Julia’s lives, and to me seemed pretty genuine and not Hollywoodized.  It’s not what I’d call a blockbuster, but I did draw some cool stuff from the movie.  It got me to thinking about how writing is turning into my little adventure that I can’t help but talk about, and that it doesn’t matter if no one gets it but me.  Luckily, my family is much more supportive than Julie’s was in the movie.  I never would’ve chosen it for myself, but writing is kind of a mini-passion of mine lately.

I am in way deeper than I first planned on when I decided to write a book.  I’ve subscribed to Writer Magazine, started reading ten times more than I used to, and I find myself using idle time to think about the plot of my book.  I never thought I’d put much more time into this project than the time spent actually typing it, but I’m realizing that the rest of it is the fun part.  Rules about writing that I always ignored, and thought to be ancient and unnecessary are catching my attention now; though I still have a lot to learn.  But recently, I am at one of those moments where I just feel stuck.  I’ve gotten past the introduction of everything, but am struggling to get the story to the point where I can implement all these ideas I’ve collected.  It wouldn’t be hard to transition over, but I just want it to fit perfectly.  I can’t explain why I’m taking a stupid zombie book so seriously, but I am.  For the first time in a long time, in fact, I’m enjoying the process of achieving something that takes more than minimal effort.

Lately, I’ve even been watching “B” movies to look for common mistakes that I want to avoid, and maybe find some inspiration in there somewhere (usually not).  I’ve also been reading the magazines I mentioned, as well as “On Writing” by Stephen King.  After Wednesday, I’ll be done with my two weeks notice at the hospital.  I’ll finally have a lot of down time to do whatever I want, before leaving for camp in May.  Besides watching “The Notebook”, I’m really excited to start a daily routine like King mentions in his book, and get things really moving forward.  Working out, watching a crappy movie, reading, writing.  My ideal day now would’ve sounded like torture to me a few years ago.  Hopefully, the kids at Ridgecrest can help me slow down on this whole growing up thing.


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Categories : Personal, Writing

Zombie Novel

25 02 2010

So I’ve started my novel.  I didn’t realize how much I enjoy/miss writing, until I started it.  In high school, one of my favorite classes consisted of a coach having us write stories, and then stand up to read them in front of the class.  I think it really helped develop my interest in reading and writing.  So far, I have done about three chapters, and should have plenty of time to work on it once I finish up my two weeks at the hospital.  (Yeah, I called my boss and decided to end on a good note)  Andrea is working on some cover art for me, and several members of my family are reading over my stuff, helping me edit it.  Hopefully, it will turn out to be a page turner with short chapters, that is just action, action, action.  I really want to take my time, and do it right, even though I’m not trying for an actual publisher.  I was never one for all the filler stuff in books or movies, so I don’t feel the need to have it in my book.  I think you can fully develop a few characters as the story goes along without having to drag out the first half of the book.  It is in fact a zombie novel, but I consider it a little less Sci-Fi, maybe a little more militaristic and strategic.  My hope is to get it out there and self-published by the time I go off to North Carolina this summer.  For a title so far, I’m considering “Aim High”.  I might add a subtitle to that to give people an idea that it’s not a self-help book or anything.  Leave your comments with recommendations for titles, questions, or ideas for a cool scene you would like to see play out!


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Categories : Personal, Writing, Zombies

I Quit

17 02 2010

I quit my job at the hospital today.  It wasn’t something I had pre-meditated or anything, it just kind of happened.  When I first walked in, they surprised me by letting me know that I was going to be training someone, and it was all downhill from there.  The first three runs we had were some of the worst I’ve ever experienced, and the man I was training couldn’t hardly walk about two hours into the day.  It was awkward trying to train him, because he was twice my age and had a story he would always want to share, and I couldn’t fit words in edgewise to train the guy.  After only about a month, when I had finished my training, I had the realization that I truly wanted to quit, but I stuck with it. I couldn’t stand the idea of making it harder on my co-workers since we’re always short handed, and didn’t want the patients to suffer from it, but today it was time.  My bosses didn’t even fault me at all about it or try to get me to stay, I was amazed how cool they were with me when I was really putting them in a tough situation.  Two people have actually given me their cell numbers so I can get positive references from the hospital even though I didn’t give a two weeks notice.  Though, after talking with the head man, I’m considering finishing it up the right way and am probably gonna finish up my two weeks.  I don’t know if it was the constant chatter in my ear from the radio, the intolerable smells, or the eight hours a day on my feet, but almost every day at work was spent faking a smile and trying to ignore a headache.  It was hard to even be myself away from work, because I was constantly in dread of the next shift.  I really will miss some of the great relationships I found at the hospital, there are several individuals that kept me going through the hard times whom I will miss seeing every day, but hopefully will still see at other times.  I think the patients will be what I miss most about the hospital, but at the same time I can’t begin to explain to you the relief I am feeling right now.  I’d rather deal with the money stresses that come from being unemployed for a while than to spend any more time at the hospital.  I am about a month away from being able to use about two weeks worth of paid time off, and I can’t even stick it out ’til then.  I’m worth more than $8/hr.  I figure at this stage of my life, with me not being tied down, I should either be doing something I love, or making some serious money… obviously the hospital was neither.  So where do I go from here?  Right now I will more than likely be working here and there for my dad in the oil field to keep things balanced until camp. (It’s weird how things always work out for me to go back to Ridgecrest).  After camp it will be about the time that I can try again for the academy in Austin to become a state trooper.  If not that, I’m also very seriously considering two of my biggest passions, teaching and coaching.  As for now, it’s a couple weeks of goodbyes and then for some serious relaxation.  For the first time in my life, I’m a quitter.


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Categories : Personal, Stress

Big Ten to Become the Big 12?

11 02 2010

There’s been some talk lately about some more conference change-ups.  Last year it was talks of Texas to the Pac-10, and Iowa State or Missouri to the Big 10.  The latest rumors center around the Big 10 wanting Texas.  This one seems unlikely to me because Texas is geographically so far from every school in that conference.  Usually, you want conferences to have schools that are bundled in a region to enable fans to travel, and for teams to establish those proximity rivalries with possibly a few outliers.  For Texas to agree to the change, would mean a huge increase in traveling expenses, and almost no chance of having any of their fans coming to their away games.  I can understand why the Big 10 would love for this thing to grow legs.  Texas has been the major flagship school in the Big XII lately, and the Big 10 would greatly profit from the added t.v. markets and attention in the southwest.  But if Iowa State is considered an outlier for the Big XII that few people want to travel to, imagine Texas being bunched in a group where the nearest team is even farther.  If this were to happen, the Big XII would either have to pick up a TCU type team, or else it would be picked apart by the surrounding conferences.  As a fan of the conference, I don’t even know that this would be such a bad deal.  The conference is so new, there’s no real history there anyhow.  I think the change in conference alignments would offer us a new bowl game experience every week.  The best part of the sports year is the bowl game or tournament time when teams that haven’t met on the field or court collide with vastly differing styles.  Every time these talks start, I always start to piece together my ideal conference, the Gulf Coast Conference.  Imagine picking the major rivals from each of the schools along the Gulf Coast and putting them all up against each other each weak.  Florida, Florida State, Alabama, Auburn, Georgia,Georgia Tech, Arkansas, Ole Miss, Mississippi State, LSU, Texas, Texas A&M.  Yeah, it won’t ever happen, but could you imagine?  The east and west coast bias wouldn’t be able to keep these games off of t.v.


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Categories : Sports

Filthy Job with Nathan Harvey

2 02 2010


I’m really frustrated with my professional life right now.  Working at an extremely blue collar, high stress, low paying job is starting to take it’s toll on me.  I spend most of my time each day enduring things that no other sane person should have to trudge through, unless it lands them a leading role for a show on Discovery.  It’s no uncommon occurrence for me to hold my breath as I walk into the source of an unbearable aroma of fecal matter escaping into the halls as everyone else retreats.  Hearing the moans as that last breath of air escapes from a corpse and holding a urinal up for an old man as he relieves himself are high points in my day compared to the interactions I have with the other employees.  People treat you like a retard when you work for $8/hr, until they need something from you.  All of a sudden, the world is expected from me, even though that same person normally dismisses my opinion as if I had just recommended we roll the patient down the stairs as a shortcut to Pre-Op.  I will basically do an incompetent nurse’s job for her, only for her to come complain later that I didn’t put the chart in the right place (which I did).

I do get plenty of crazy stories from the patients with severe dementia, to the always exciting morgue runs and intolerable violent potty mouths.  Last week I had a guy that was swinging and spitting at us as we pulled him over to a stretcher.  I was more than a little nervous to take him down to MRI by myself, for fear of who he might punch in the halls.  Before him, it was a lady that told me how natural my name badge and the lights look, and that “it seems like something is actually going to happen.”  She also was observant enough to point out to her nurse that, “Even your face is black!”  Thank God the nurse laughed, cause my self-control isn’t practiced enough for me to have held the hilarity of that one in.  Again, I was really a little terrified every time we passed someone in the hallways for fear of what she may say.  (She told one lady, “You look just like that one fat girl!”)  Just yesterday, I rounded a corner to the shouts from a little old lady of “F%^&, F%^&, you stop right there, sir!”  (and I’ll spare you the rest of her extremely slight vocabulary).  Thank goodness I’m in East Texas where people are friendly and can help make my job rewarding, because the worst part of what I do is passing doctors, surgeons, and nurses in the halls and saying good morning just to watch them go out of their way to ignore you.  A row of nurses will be taking up the entire hallway as they talk about something random like dessert, and will look up at me as I’m approaching with an ICU patient in a bed, and they pretend not to notice.  It’s like they’re hoping I’ve figured out some way to disappear and pop up somewhere that won’t inconvenience them.  I actually had to turn that part of it into kind of a game to keep from saying something I’d regret.  Employees literally see the maroon shirt we transporters wear, and think of us as lesser humans that make their lives miserable.  Some of the people that represent our department earned us that image, but it’s still next to impossible to digest and still have a good day.  One of my bosses just recently put in his two weeks notice and told me, “I don’t have anything else for sure lined up yet, but I just can’t take this place anymore.”  This guy is a Persian that was literally tortured in Iran for being part of an underground Democratic movement years ago.  He leaked no information to the antagonists, and actually escaped to the U.S. and supplied us with some intelligence.  For him to say that he can’t take something anymore really grabs your attention.

I have been talking for months with one of my best friends, and we’ve been searching every conceivable place for a job we can actually enjoy.  We want to use some of the freedom we still have left in being single, young guys, but the opportunities are nil right now.  I’ve considered everything from opening my own business (sorry for not telling you my gold mine of and idea) back in College Station, to teaching English in a foreign country, or bar-tending in some dream-like, exotic world like Costa Rica.  We’re both college graduates with nothing tying us down, but we just can’t find that perfect destination.  Everything that seems like a fit, usually goes nowhere because there is no position available.  I even have some really off the wall ideas for a money-making scheme that would involve me wandering like a homeless person, posting videos, and allowing people to vote on what I spend my next week doing amongst other insanity, and it’s really starting to seem like a viable option.  Compared to my current dead end job that a friend deems more excruciating than torture in Iran, how bad could the life of a homeless man be?  I know some of you have had similar dreams of enjoying your freedoms somewhere exotic, and living the good life before it’s time to settle down.  Please comment with any ideas you’ve had.  Since my mom has said that she understands me wanting to get away and go enjoy my freedom for a while, there’s nothing left to hold me back except an opportunity.


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Categories : Personal, Stress

Valentine’s Day

31 01 2010

As Valentine’s Day approaches, everyone that is single copes differently.  Many girls start becoming increasingly aware of how single they are weeks in advance.  For each day that passes with no date proposals, they wonder what exactly it is that’s wrong with them.  For guys, we pretend we are just glad there’s no need to buy a gift, make reservations, or go watch a chick flick.  The rebels out there complain that Valentine’s day makes no sense since (take note kids, they’re spelled differently) it’s named after two martyrs, and Hallmark just made the day up to increase profit (much like candy companies adapted all Hallows eve into a sugarfest).  Well girls, nothing is wrong with you (probably).  Guys, you can pretend all you want, but getting together with the boys and watching The Matrix can’t really compete, and it really won’t cost you that much to take her out.  The best reason I can come up with that so many people end up alone on V-day is that guys are pansies.  We’re so scared of rejection and taking a hit on our pride that we’d rather have our swagger slowly melt away by staying home and playing video games.  Well kiddos, here are a few tips.  (I figured who better to give dating advice than a 25 year old single guy).  Girls are normally attracted to calmer guys. (This is true for guys as well).  Lay off the hyper stuff and forcing conversation… relax!  It’s actually true that we have a harder time carrying out simple tasks when we’re around someone we’re physically attracted to.  Slow down, take your time, find your swagger.  The clumsy stuff Albert uses in Hitch oftentimes won’t land you your own Allegra Cole.  Being calm can be mistaken by the other party as confidence… that’s a good thing.  When you date someone, you’re not dating their potential.  Don’t ignore the warning signs because of who you think they could become.  If you’re both going two different directions in life, don’t expect that either of you is worth changing over.  You’ll find that it’s true how people don’t change, and trying to will just make you resent the other person.  The thing Hitch did nail, was all the planning he did.  Put some effort into coming up with something, it’ll let her know you think she’s worth it.  People don’t really remember what you say, or what you do as much as how you make them feel.  If you want a partner that is fun, honest, and attractive, then that’s who you should be.  Hang in there, for every guy out there looking for someone, there’s a girl out there impatiently waiting for you to find her.  (Except you, China, sorry)   And hey, if it’s the worst date of your life, at least you got that out of the way.


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Categories : Dating, Love

Top 10 Things You’ll Need for a Zombie Outbreak

27 01 2010

In no particular order, they’re all essential.

10: A backpack full of the essentials

  • Bleach and Hydrogen Peroxide – for purifying water
  • Ammunition – will soon be more valuable than guns
  • First Aid Kit
  • Flint and steel fire-starter
  • Batteries
  • Duct Tape – if this doesn’t fix it…
  • WD-40 – this will
  • Headlamp – keeps your hands free

9: Rope – You never realize how much you need it, til you don’t have it.

8: iPod: You’ll need some good music to keep your sanity

7: Chainsaw Bayonet – If you’ve gotta go down, go down swinging

6: A Folding Shovel – For digging out traps for them, graves for yours, and cover for you

5: Attack Dog – Their heightened senses can help you sleep more comfortably at night

4: A Journal – To leave your legacy and jot down observations about Zombie tendencies

3: Machete – Help you navigate the deep woods, sharpen sticks, as well as a last resort weapon.

2: Family – What else is there?

1: You’ve got to have that one bullet you set aside for yourself in the end.  Admitting the inevitability of your own death will calm your nerves for all the madness you’re going to encounter.

Leave a comment if you thought of something crucial I left out.  I’ll probably have to update this one a few times.


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Categories : Top Ten, Zombies

Can Democracy Last?

25 01 2010

Today I observed more than the usual number of people in the hospital that, it seemed pretty obvious, didn’t have insurance.  Trinity Mother Frances is a Christian and non-profit organization, so they do more than what is expected of them when it comes to these people being brought in… that’s admirable.  I was all for it when I first started at the hospital, but I’m starting to lean towards being a little bit less compassionate.  I was raised to be empathetic and compassionate, trying to understand the situations of those around me.  However, I’m no longer quite as compassionate as I once was with the immigrants who come in with a sense of entitlement.  In the past, I would put myself in their shoes and say, well sure, who blames them, I’d do the exact same thing, given the situation and the opportunity.  I was even of the mindset that there are a lot of hispanics around, and there are only going to be more, so I’ll learn Spanish.  But, when it’s continually the people that barely speak English who are more demanding, and yell at the nurses and myself, there’s a problem.  I understand that many immigrants can be very large assets to certain American industries, but when all of that money gets sent back across the border untaxed there’s a problem.  In fact, there are two major problems that overlap to make something that’s downright disgusting.  Many will come over, find a job, send the money back, get sick, and because they have very little recorded income, will be admitted to the hospital and pay nothing out of pocket.  Before you call me insensitive, consider that for the past two weeks almost every bed in our hospital has been full, and they have had trouble making room for people in the ER to be admitted.  Put yourself in an ER waiting room as a person that’s been paying your insurance company for decades while the lady in room 4426 has been in the hospital for months basically sends her bill back to you.  Also consider the fact that Americans are having as hard a time finding employment as ever since possibly the great depression.  According to miseryindex.us, unemployment has reached 10%.  Well, simple economics and a little common sense tells us that raising the minimum wage was going to cause that, but it’s no longer about reality, it’s about what looks good on paper and in theory.  (A lot of students think Communism sounds great when they first learn about it in theory).  This in theory vs. reality problem should also be considered when viewing gun control, welfare, war, and so on, but I’ll cover that some other day.  Obama even admitted recently that the middle class has been under assault for a long time.  For you white middle classers like myself, don’t get too excited.  His plan to save the middle class is to spend more money and mandate our employers.  While I am glad to hear him at least acknowledge this, and anxious to see if his plans actually result in any change, it should be noted that it’s not just the middle class Mr. President, but America that has been under assault.  While I’m very displeased with the turn our country has taken lately, believe me, I wouldn’t rather live anywhere else.  But also understand that I will fight to keep the foundations that made it great.

“It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried.” – Sir Winston Churchill

“The best argument against democracy is a five minute conversation with the average voter.” – Sir Winston Churchill

“In a democracy the poor will have more power than the rich, because there are more of them, and the will of the majority is supreme.” – Aristotle

“A democracy cannot exist as a permanent form of government. It can only exist until the voters discover that they can vote themselves money from the public treasure. From that moment on the majority always votes for the candidates promising the most money from the public treasury, with the result that a democracy always collapses over loose fiscal policy…” – Sir Alex Fraser Tytler

“The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management skills of celery.” – Dave Berry


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Categories : Politics

My Top Ten Video Games

24 01 2010

10: Rock Band

[My favorite part of video games is when they get friends together.  This one is centered around that idea.]

Rock Band

9: Duck Hunt

[There were scratches all over the tv screen from me cheating on this one... I thought I was so smart.]

Duck Hunt

8: NBA Jam

[To this day, the nail in the coffin makes me think of this game and smile.]

NBA Jam

7: NFL Blitz

[When college was getting to us, me and the roommates would always resort back to this one.]

NFL Blitz

6: Super Mario Bros. 3

[Looking back now, this is the weirdest game.  What's the obsession with mushrooms and turtles?]

Mario 3

5: Modern Warfare 2

[A modern day game would have to be outstanding to make this list.  There was never a doubt for MW2.]

MW2

4: World Cup Soccer

[Our strategy on this one was to tackle the opposition until they quit getting up.]

NES World Cup Soccer

3: Halo 2

[I'd probably have graduated with an engineering degree if it weren't for this game.]

Master Chief

2: Mario Kart Double Dash

[It's amazing how these cute cartoony games can get people cussing.]

Mario Kart Double Dash

1: Mortal Kombat 3

[Conversations at school centered around this game for months.]

Sub-Zero vs. Sektor MK3

Honorable Mention:

Sonic 3

Battletoads Vs. Double Dragon

Street Fighter 2

TMNT 2

Left 4 Dead

These aren’t necessarily the most revolutionary games ever made, nor are they consistent in picking one of the titles out from the series.  These are just my personal favorites, basically drawing from past experiences.  That said, I almost forgot some of my favorite titles, so leave a comment if you feel that I’m forgetting a big one.

Note: (Zelda is stupid)


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Categories : Top Ten, Video Games

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